


All You Have To Do Is Stay

by Alice (spideychelle_romanogers)



Category: Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Abuse, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-17
Updated: 2017-08-17
Packaged: 2018-12-16 14:48:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11830965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spideychelle_romanogers/pseuds/Alice
Summary: Michelle is having trouble at home and she starts letting it scare her out of her relationship with Peter.





	All You Have To Do Is Stay

**Author's Note:**

> A short story I thought I'd bring in off my Tumblr.

It’s not that their relationship isn’t perfect.

Michelle knows she’s happy. She is so, so happy. Peter is everything to her and he does everything to make her feel good. He is probably the best thing she has going in her life. But she’s got so much going on. Dating Peter was never meant to be a distraction, but at first it did the job. Michelle forgot about anything dark in her life. For weeks, he’s all she can think about and she spends as little time home as possible so that she can forget what is happening.

Michelle indulges Peter’s neediness. He’s not used to having someone there for him and he’s always hated being alone. Michelle lets him pull her in, she ignores her desire to pull away. It makes her uncomfortable to be so emotional and personal all the time, but she tells herself it’s what she needs because she never wants to say no to him. She’s stressed all the time because she never gets silence anymore. She’s stopped reading in favor of enjoying whatever time to herself she gets. It’s not that she doesn’t care about Peter, but she just can’t flip a switch and live differently. If Michelle has been anything in her life, it’s alone. Eventually, she wonders if being home is better than pretending to be something she’s not.

Then is reminded how wrong she is. Michelle spends hours at home listening to her parents scream at each other.

And Michelle is a planner, she looks at the future. What is she supposed to think about her relationship with Peter? She doesn’t expect them to fall in love and get married or anything, but she can’t help but predict one day they’ll be the same way: screaming at each other and hurling threats back and forth.

Though she wishes things were different, she’s so at risk for falling in love with this boy. Everything about him is good. He’s so nice to her. He always thinks about her. He’s considerate, he’s interesting, he’s selfless. Michelle never knew she could fawn over anyone so nice but Peter makes her change her mind about everything she thought she knew about herself.

And that scares her.

Her security lies in how much she knows herself. It’s what comforts her in the worst of days. Maybe she doesn’t know what’s going to happen to her family. Maybe she doesn’t know if she’s safe. Maybe things could get better one day. Everything is possible, but she’s never had to doubt herself before. She has been the one constant in her life for as long as she can remember.

Self-doubt is possibly one of the worst feelings she’s ever had.

She starts pulling away. She’ll say she’s busy when she’s not and try to go home early when she’s visiting him. Distance could help. As long as she wasn’t around him all the time, there was less of a chance she’d ruin their relationship.

After all, Michelle doesn’t know how to care about someone. She’s had no one to learn that from. What she sees at home every day is not what she thinks a relationship should be, but it’s all she knows.  
Pulling away only makes things worse. Suddenly, Peter wants to be around her all the time.

He’s not used to having someone around for him, for every part of his life. Michelle knows this is normal, and that he just loves having her around. She loves that about him. He’s never had a girlfriend before. She’s never had a boyfriend before. This is new to both of them.

Peter doesn’t know what is happening with Michelle, and he’s scared to ask. She seems to shrink if he even just notices she’s uncomfortable.

He tries giving her space but he can’t stop himself from wanting to be around her all the time. So even if he promises he won’t call, he does. If things get too quiet, he sends her a picture. If he thinks she’s ignoring him, he rambles until she answers him. Things aren’t perfect and it scares him.

Michelle’s everything he’s ever wanted. She cares about him even if she has a hard time showing it. She has such a big heart, even if no one understands her. She might as well be the sun to him now, she means everything.  
Peter starts worrying about losing her and that only makes things worse. When they are together, he starts holding her like she’s disappearing. He kisses her like it might be the last time. He talks to her like it’s his last chance to convince her to stay.

They fall into their own panic.

Michelle isn’t used to being needed. Peter is only setting himself up for disappointment if he thinks she’s reliable. She has never had to be anything for anyone. She doesn’t want to let him down but she is never going to be what he needs. He deserves better than her.

Peter has lost so many people. He can’t lose her too. He tries his best to keep her. He gets her books and tries to read some himself so they can talk about them. He tries to talk about things she likes and tries to come up with romantic ideas for dates. He tries to map a way to be who she needs.

Michelle sees Peter change and it destroys her because she knows she’s doing this to him. He didn’t notice before but now he knows. He starts looking at her like he’s a kicked puppy.

Michelle avoids Peter one time too many. Peter finally asks her if they are over. She doesn’t know how to tell him they are even if she doesn’t want them to be. They never had a chance. For the first week after they break up it’s like she can’t breathe if he’s in the room. He looks as broken as she feels, but she pretends she’s not hurt because it’ll be easier on him. Peter doesn’t deserve ideas that this will fix itself somehow. They’re too different.

Peter is afraid of being alone but being alone is all Michelle has ever known. They will always be pleased at each other’s expense. They aren’t interested in the same things. They will never be perfect and Michelle will never feel good enough. Being apart and miserable is better than having Peter and hurting him.

That is, until she’s covering her ears and rocking in bed when her parents are yelling again. She can’t text Peter. She can’t leave. She just sits there shaking and she wishes for it to be over.

This time it doesn’t end. They keep yelling for hours. She’s crying. On edge, she thinks about how much she wants to tell Peter but keeps herself from calling him. It’s not worth pulling him back into trouble with her.

She hears glass break and she jumps out of bed. She wants to check if they’re alright but she’s too scared to leave her room in case they’ll turn on her. She knows better than to interrupt them. Climbing out on the fire escape, she calls begging Peter for help through sobs. She can’t take it anymore, she can’t be alone anymore.

Peter gets there in minutes in his suit and she’s sobbing on her rooftop. He pulls the mask off and pulls her in close, waiting for her to find her breath again.

Through heaves, she apologizes for everything. For the first time, she talks about her parents. Her heart breaks as she tells Peter this is why they can’t be together. To her, it’s the truth.

Peter pulls her into a hug and kisses her head. He’s never had to comfort her before but Michelle has already never felt safer. He tells her they’ll never hurt each other like that.

Michelle can’t trust promises, but this is different. He’s right. She’s different. She and Peter are not her parents. He is everything to her. She knows she’ll never hurt him. So, she lets herself take in the comfort she feels around him. She lets herself have hope for the first time. They are not perfect, but maybe they could be happy.


End file.
